Sunday, June 28, 2015

Love is patient, love is kind.

It was just ten years ago that we were fighting to have an article in the school news paper about our LGBT students. (http://www.bakersfield.com/news/opinion/2006/02/09/are-educators-or-bullies-in-control-at-east-high.html) It's taken a lot to get to where we are now. We live in a beautiful era. Seeing so much love from Facebook friends gives me hope.
It doesn't bother me that some friends don't approve. Chances are, I don't care for something about them, but I'm not going to bash them for it. As long as they still show kindness for humanity and aren't hurting anyone in any way, I don't see the need to bash them for not approving. I've never appreciated when homophobes throw things at me, threaten me, pray over me, are negative to me or try to convert me, so I would never do the same to someone who isn't quite comfortable with my sexual orientation yet. I do think it's possible to care about someone still, even though I don't agree with them.
I don't like the pastor who has threatened to set himself on fire if #lovewins. I think he has a couple of skeletons in his closet and needs to take up a productive, hands on hobby that doesn't judge or hurt anyone. I don't agree with any of what he's said, but condoning his attempt to hurt himself doesn't make us any better than those who have hurt us. I do believe that if someone really wants to kill themselves, they are entitled to that right, but maybe they should talk to someone first, and it certainly shouldn't be in the name of mistreating others. I care about him enough to stop him from lighting that match. It's the same way that I wish the kids who bullied me in school cared about me enough to stop my suicide attempt. Just because they didn't, they actually encouraged it, doesn't mean I need to stoop to their level.
Isn't there some religious figure who teaches all of this?
I will always be respectful toward others opinions as long as they are respectful towards mine. A good debate is always fun, but just not very possible on social media. If we're going to be happy and proud of our love winning, let's actually promote love for all.
We're still going to be discriminated against. It makes me happy though, reading all of these statuses about parents informing their kids about love winning. It really is that easy to tell your child that two people love each other and that's it. Teaching love will promote more love and positivity. I hope that with this decision, more kids will feel comfortable enough in their own skin, more adults will be able to come out comfortably and we can at least accept them and love them as individuals.
Yesterday, when I heard the news I cried. I listened to Mackelemore's "Same Love" and just burst into tears. Listening to the song now, it's amazing to think how far along we've come. We've had to put up with a lot and we've lost many along the way. I'm thankful that I'm still alive and able to watch this unfold in front of me. Going from a confused child because of being brought up in a Catholic school, to a teen disowned by my dad after coming out to him, then to see that the law finally recognizes us as humans, it's so beautiful. The struggles, doubts, heartache, self harm, letters to my dad, memories, abuse, all of it happening is no longer in vain. We did it. We still have a long way to go, but this is definitely a step in the right direction. Thank you to everyone who has stood up for our rights.

Just a few months before I came out, I found a book called Am I Blue? It was sitting in the bookshelf next to my desk in my summer school class going into freshman year of high school. It was pulled out from the rest of the books like I was supposed to read it. I snuck it home with me and read it over and over.  Little did I know that the first homophobic bully I'd have in high school would be the one who would out me to the whole class, in the exact same class room just a few months later. The book is a compilation of short stories about people coming out. I didn't know how it was going to happen for me, but this book definitely helped give me the courage I needed when it happened unexpectedly.
Check it out on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Am-Blue-Coming-Out-Silence/dp/0064405877



Friday, March 27, 2015

In the Orchards with Brittany



























Test Shoot with Melissa Violet Orloff

I met Melissa at our shoot with HTR Images. I know how much she loves mermaids and I've been wanting to do a mermaid shoot. So I set up my own test shoot with her. 

 She's such a natural beauty.




Aren't those eyes mesmerizing?

GK In the Studio

GK is the first model I found on Model Mayhem who was reliable. I was so intrigued by his unique look that I had to contact him. He was on time, polite and prepared. I was so happy to see that he was actually studying male models, turbaned models in particular.  After our test shoot, I asked if he would be interested in doing this particular shoot. I wanted to play with studio lighting, bodyscape/fitness style.







 You know what happens when the model forgets his suit pants? You shoot him waist up!

 GK and I had a great time. It turns out that he already has quite the fan base with my lady friends! I have some more shoots in mind for him!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

LA Cityscape on Whitney's Rooftop

I met gorgeous Whitney at a shoot with Ray John Pila. While doing her makeup, I fell in love with her Southern accent and telephone purse! 
 After doing a test shoot with her, I told her I wanted to do another night shoot that tests my abilities to use a basic external flash. I usually shoot outdoors, during the day. I have no problem manipulating natural light, but artificial light has always been tricky for me. At this point, I had the basics down, but I wanted to challenge myself.
 Whitney mentioned she had a rooftop available to shoot on. From the rooftop, you can see the LA cityscape and lights. Since I was comfortable enough with the lighting, and I wanted a challenge, I figured I would play with the bokeh the city lights would create. I wanted the horizon to glow enough to see the silhouettes of the California palm trees. I had no idea what her rooftop looked like at this point, but I knew I would be able to just go with the flow once I saw it.
 When she showed me the rooftop, I fell in love! There was a perfect combination of palm trees and city lights. There were riots going on in the city that night. I don't remember the case, but something happened so there were also several helicopters in and out of the shots, which I think added to the great bokeh.
 We had no idea what wardrobe, hair, or makeup were going to look like. When Whitney invited me to check out her closet, I couldn't resist! Anything sparkly already catches my eye, but when I saw this particular dress I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I wanted the bokeh I was challenging myself with to compliment the sparkles in the dress. I know bokeh isn't really much of a challenge. It's easy to create, which is why I see it overused. I wanted to use it just enough. Bokeh is often used to convey that a surface is sparkly. I didn't want to over light the dress to create more sparkles. (Unfortunately, it is possible to have something be too sparkly, lol.)
 After finding the dress, we found her pink tights, which matched her dress perfectly.
 Whitney has some of her favorite 60s and 70s singers displayed on her walls. I was inspired by those photos to add some beautiful, big, bouncy curls.





 I love her giggles!



Thank you to Travis for the great assisting!